About - Pointless.Ventures

The internet’s most ruthlessly accurate coverage of Silicon Valley’s greatest performance art: venture capital. Pointless.Ventures is the 99% AI-powered news platform that delivers surgical precision mockery of the startup ecosystem’s most spectacular failures, questionable pivots, and valuation gymnastics. Our machine learning algorithms are trained on thousands of press releases, pitch decks, and LinkedIn humble-brags to identify peak absurdity in real-time.

What We Cover:

• Funding Theater: Series D rounds for companies that pivoted 47 times and still sell “solutions looking for problems”
• Acquisition Comedy: $2B purchases of apps with negative revenue and a waitlist as their only asset
• Unicorn Autopsies: How companies worth more than small nations somehow forgot to build actual products
• VC Bingo: Tracking buzzword density in investment announcements (“AI-powered blockchain solutions for the metaverse”)

Our Editorial Process:

Every story begins with a genuine press release that made our algorithms laugh. The remaining 1% human oversight exists solely to verify we haven’t accidentally written something more ridiculous than reality. “Finally, someone who understands that ‘disruption’ usually just means ‘we haven’t figured out how to make money yet’” - Reformed Startup Founder Mission Statement: To document the venture capital industrial complex with the reverence it deserves: absolutely none.